10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be With Him

So he has been your exclusive date for quite some time now. You feel like you know him too well but you still dillydally to make it official. Yes, you like him... but the question is: Do you like him enough to be in a relationship with him? Here's a reality check I believe every woman should think about before moving on to the next level: commitment.

These are just few reasons that a woman considers before entering in a relationship. Check this out, I know you'd find it familiar.

1. "It's a practical decision to be with him." If you think it is practical and convenient for you to have him around--- then don't do it. Most of the time, women enter in a relationship with someone they are comfortable to be with. If you are comfortable to be with him because you already know him and you feel it is convenient for you (since there's no need for dramatic adjustment,) then I'm gonna tell you to think again. Being in a relationship is not because of convenience and practicality---it is because you want him to be secured with you--- you want to be committed because you want future plans together.

2. "It's okay to lower my standards." If we'll talk about standards, every woman has her own sets of it, and most of the time, it's a set of unrealistic ones. I'm not saying it's not okay to have standards. In fact, I encourage every woman to have a set of standards--- those that are reasonable enough. Of course, any guy would always fall short if it's unattainable. Be realistic, but be clear on how low you can go. Try to weigh his best and worst--- if he sucks at one thing which is not that important to you, maybe he compensates it with other things that could mean more to you.

Ex. Techy Savvy < Good Humored

3. "He's okay." If this is how you describe him, then don't go for it. Okay is just okay. I believe that a girl who's seriously in love with a guy would go beyond "okay." There should be an effortless connection; a strong chemistry. The guy must have something that can make you instantly high. If his surprises, gifts, or even his mere presence cheesed you off, then forget about it. Next, please!

4. "He's a Work in Progress." Yes, you like him, but there are a lot of things you want to change about him. He wants to be in a relationship with you because he wants a girlfriend--- not some life or personality coach or maybe a stylist who’d decide for his wardrobe. Bottom line: Don’t make him into something he's not. A sensible guy wouldn't change his personality or maybe his fashion sense just to fit in with your standards unless he loves you so much. And you wouldn't try to change him anyway, unless you like him enough.

5. "But He's the Right Guy." Maybe he has all the qualities to be in a "right guy" category and you still can't figure out why you are not thrilled. Some women who had been in a relationship for a long time ended up marrying the guy, not because they found the right guy. Most of the time, these guys are not even one inch of an ideal men, but there's something in them... they give them thrills--- effortlessly. Thrill is something you can't fake nor develop with time. So how would you know what kind of thrill I am telling here? You know it, when you know it. Trust me.

6. "I'm the Boss." All of the girls have one thing in common: they secretly dreaming of a guy who would control them. Seriously. Some would deny it. Some girls are just too bossy and proud but whether they admit it or not--- they'd want someone who'd control them and at the same time pamper them. Yeah, it's a little bit twisted. I know. But the act of controlling a girl or being able to pacify a woman who would blow a fuse is such a manly act. So if this guy you're thinking of having a relationship with would just say "yes" to you--- don't bore yourself. Go out in the wild. Find someone else who would have the guts to tame you.

7. "I Feel Like I'm Too Much For Him." So you feel you're too beautiful, too rich or too intelligent for him? If you believe so, I won't argue. The good thing about it is that these guys whom you feel lesser than you can be the best ego booster. You can have the compliments and the right words, anytime you need them. The bad news? We are figuring out potential boyfriends, not a die hard fan. It might feel good; but in the long run, it would be boring. Warning: No go.

8. I Always Defend 'Why Him?' There are two types of reaction of a woman when asked "Why him?" The first woman would smile, giggle, and then give you 101 good points why they chose the guy; while the other would just smile... maybe think of a good reason... and come up with nothing. Guess who's happier? The second woman. If you feel like you'd sound defending "why him" to all of your friends, (and when I say friends I mean people you like and those you secretly hate) then it's time for you to have a reality check. Being in a relationship with a guy is a decision. If you're really into the guy, your friends' opinion would not even matter. We like someone because we like them, at the same time, we don't because we don't.

9.   "He Wouldn't Argue." Is he too predictable? Are his ways familiar to that one movie you saw years ago that you could guess what his next move or line would be? Some women would find a guy who doesn't argue attractive--- (this is rare kind of woman though) while most of the women I know would want a sensible guy who could handle an argument. Someone who would express his stance even if what he has in mind might not please her girlfriend. And these guys made complete sense to me. What is a relationship without a little spice? Being with a guy who doesn't argue is like depriving yourself of a hot kiss and make up after a fight. Now that's orgasmic.

10. "I Don't Think About the Future Yet." It's a very lame excuse. Tell me something, without hypocrisy and denial---- do you really, really, see yourself building your own family with this guy? Do you see him to be a potential husband someday? Some women would say they are just having fun and taking it slow--- if that's the same reason you have in your mind, then what's the point of being in a relationship? If you don't think about the future yet, then don't be in a commitment. The very reason you would want to be in a relationship with the guy is because you want a deeper connection, to get to know him, to figure out if he can be a future lifetime partner. Now, if you don't see yourself being with him in a long run and you're just "enjoying the moment"... then just do so. Of course, without commitment.

If these reasons toy in your mind upon considering a relationship with a guy, then you're a very smart woman--- to chill (maybe smoke and coke? hello, you!), think for awhile and realize maybe it's not yet the right time or the right guy for you to be in a relationship with. Maybe you needed to slow down. Breathe. And save someone from a possible heartbreak. Why waste your time, or his time? Keep on searching... not because he's worth it... but because you are.

Offloaded in NAIA: Just Another Story

Is your first time to travel abroad? Have you experienced being offloaded by the Immigration Officer because they think you're not capable to travel? Is there a chance for you to travel at second attempt after being offloaded?

If you live here in the Philippines, that is mostly the case. Immigration Officers are one of the most difficult people to deal with. I heard a lot of stories wherein people were not able to go because BI Officer did not let them--- simply because they think they're just not capable to travel abroad. This is sick. So does it really take someone so rich to pass at Bureau of Immigration? But how would they know anyway? If they based it on your looks, job, or personality, then one must be a good con artist to be able to travel abroad.

I know someone who doesn't have a job here. His supposedly stay in Singapore was a gift. Unfortunately, the Immigration Officer stopped him from leaving because he didn't have a decent job here. He said he had his ATM and the Immigration Officer asked this person to check his balance and return to the line with a receipt. This is rubbish! The end of the story was, he wasn't able to go, the flight ticket was non refundable and so was his supposedly 3 day stay in a hotel.

I was offloaded once. I had a supposedly trip to Thailand for three days but they did not let me for three reasons; I didn't have a hotel booked. Second, I'm married and I would travel alone. I have baby I would leave home for that vacation.  Thirdly, I didn't have a return ticket so they thought I'd apply a job there. Well, their reasons were quite valid for not having a roundtrip ticket and a hotel. But their advice to me not to go on a vacation because I have a baby (even if I explained she had her nanny) and when they questioned me why my husband was not with me on this vacation was none of their business.Well, I was pissed off. My ticket was non refundable. About booking a hotel, I explained to them I had enough money to look for hotel when I got there. Still, they did not let me. The officer even asked my Diploma, educational background, and a lot of questions I did not suppose to answer because as far as I was concerned, it was not a job interview. Secondly, bringing my Diploma and any proof of my credentials was not necessary since I was taking my vacation. End of story: I was offloaded.

A month after that, I was afraid that I was blacklisted already. The officer left a note on their system that I was offloaded and according to the crew who helped me pick up my luggage, my record would stay on their file in the next six months or so.

So despite of all the risks, I booked again exactly a month after that offloading incident.  This time, I was with my husband. We had a round trip ticket, hotel voucher, so nothing should go wrong. Aside from one point which is; they saw my record being offloaded exactly a month ago.

So what did I do this time that made me pass on the BI Officer?

1. Outfit Matters--- but Personality Stands Out. I'd still advise you to wear a smart casual... not too casual. The first time I tried to be a tourist in Thailand, I was wearing a sweater, pants, and slippers. I was not confident at all because it was my first time to travel abroad. I felt like I had that invisible signboard hanged on my neck saying "Bully Me".  Yeah, it was such an embarrassing moment I couldn't forget. I was trying to be really polite but I guess I was too polite that I wasn't even able to justify my capability of travelling abroad. The ticket I had from PAL (Philippine Air Line) was non refundable and I ended up losing about $500 on my first try. So aside from dressing smart casual, make sure you wear something that makes you feel comfortable... that will make you feel good about yourself because it's easier to believe in someone who looks like he knows what he's saying. And don't forget to be very polite with them. I mean it. If they feel you are sarcastic, they would make everything difficult for you. So the second time around, I was wearing a simple white polo, jeans and flat decent shoes. I had my pearls as for my accessories, and guess what? They let me go even if I had a record of being offloaded on their system.

2. Make your Papers Ready--- Passport, Roundtrip Ticket, and Hotel Voucher.  These are the things you should prepare when travelling as a "tourist" in some Asian countries that don't require you a visa like Thailand, Hongkong, Singapore (and lately I heard Japan). Just give your passport and round trip ticket to the Immigration Officer, and only show the hotel Voucher if asked. The more you suffocate them with papers, the more they'd think you are so defensive. 

For Employed/ Self- Employed.
In case they ask about your work, be confident. Make it sound as if your salary is decent enough. In case they asked about how much money you have in cash, tell them so. Tell them you have your credit card with you and your ATM. They'd probably ask about your company ID; show them. If they asked about your Certificate of Employment (it's good to have it though I don't really think it is necessary) and they'd probably ask a proof of leave (this applies mostly for government employees), be sure you get one from your employer. They'd ask about your  educational background too and sometimes ask for your Diploma. Yes, this is too much (well, it depends on the BI interviewing you and how good you are at answering their questions). But in case you don't have your COE, Proof of Leave, or even School Diploma, they will still allow you to go as long as you have your company ID. If they insist that you should have your Diploma, COE and proof of leave from work, tell them you didn't bring them because it wasn't mentioned on their websites that it is a requirement for travelling to Thailand. Make your point that you would not go there to look for a job that's why you didn't bring your credentials. 

For Self Employed, just prepare a copy of business permit, ITR (if you have; if it's still new, just tell them so), just for your proof of income. The reason for them for asking these papers is because they wanna make sure you have a decent job here and you won't apply there.

For Unemployed
My husband had been 7 months here in the Philippines (he was an OFW) and I told them I'm a housewife so they saw that we didn't have a source of income. We were almost offloaded but we were able to convince them that it would be our first honeymoon. We told them the money we would spend was from our savings we earned when my husband was still working abroad as an OFW (we showed his passport). We had enough pocket money too. We had a roundtrip ticket and hotel voucher which was the only requirements we saw online through their website. End of story: they let us go.

3. It's not you're answer--- It's How You Answer. Calling them "Ma'am", "Boss," "Sir" before answering or asking a question would really help. I don't know. I'm used with first name basis because I had a very informal working environment as my previous bosses were Americans. But not when you are in the Philippines. For some reasons, they love it when you seem like patronizing them. Remember to sound casual... but polite. Once you're nervous, they'd think you are hiding something and it's gonna be so easy for them to ask you more questions that could make you feel even more nervous. Less talk, less mistake. Don't feed them with information that you think are unnecessary. It is important too to impress them. Projection. But not too much--- just convince them three things: you are capable, you know what you're doing, there's no reason for them to hold you're departure.

4. Reason out--- in a Most Humble Manner. When you think that they are being unreasonable, it's ok to reason out. But don't be rude. If they ask you about your Diploma, simply tell them you didn't know it was needed that's why you didn't bring one. If you feel like the question is foul or they are getting too personal, answer them in a professional way.

So here are the tips I can tell you guys on how to pass on Bureau of Immigration here in the Philippines if you are planning to on vacation in some Asian Countries that do not require a visa. So if you landed on this page because you're planning on travelling in the next few days and it's your first time, good luck. I know you can do it. If you were offloaded before, don't think it's a hopeless case for you. Try it again. Tell me your story here, leave a comment and I'll respond as soon as I can.

If you have any questions, suggestions, or stories you want to share, please leave a comment here. I'd love to hear from you and respond to you as soon as possible. You may also follow me on twitter, I follow back :)

So there you go! Hope this helps.

To God, to God, to God be the glory. :)

How to Get a Philippine Passport When You Don't Have Government IDs?

I was discouraged when I was planning to apply for my passport for the first time. My friend told me that I should prepare at least two government IDs. And because I live here in the Philippines, the process on getting a government IDs would not be so easy.

What I got here were just voter's ID (and I was still single then); my Postal ID; (which was not a government ID) and that's pretty much it. I just took an NBI Clearance too and that was all I got. Getting an SSS ID, BIR or a driver's license would take up so much time.

Here is DFA's List of Acceptable IDs.

And I didn't have any of the Government IDs.

So here were the only IDs I had.

-Voter's ID (when I was still single)

-Postal ID

-NBI Clearance

-Old Employment ID

And to my surprise, they accepted it.

Another friend of mine who doesn't have any government IDs use his Old School IDs (way back from elementary), even his Yearbook from High school.  So don't worry if you don't have the government IDs, just try to show whatever IDs that you have, after all, you have the supporting documents anyway such as NSO birth certificate (they will get the original), marriage license from NSO, Police Clearance and Baranggay Clearance.

Here are the list of supporting documents you need to prepare and you must have at least three from the list.

You wouldn't believe it just took me 5 minutes to apply for my Passport. I didn't have an appointment because I applied at DFA San Fernando Pampanga, the one inside at Robinsons Mall, across SM Pampanga. Yes, it was very fast and easy. You can just walk in and they will accommodate you. The only disadvantage of applying Passport from DFA San Fernando Pampanga is that the fastest they could possibly deliver your passport is within 14 business days, unlike in Manila wherein you can have your Passport within 7 working days. The reason for this is because you don't set an appointment with them. Again, you don't have to set for an appointment online if you're applying for Passport at DFA San Fernando Pampanga. You save yourself from the hassle of setting up an appointment online but you have to wait for 14 working days before you get your Passport if it's rush, and 30 days for regular process. I only recommend applying Philippine Passport at DFA San Fernando Pampanga only if you're not in a hurry.

Click this to have a better understanding about DFA requirements in getting a Philippine Passport and again, I just want to stress out that this is the system at DFA San Fernando Pampanga only. I'm not quite sure if it is the same in DFA Manila. This happened last November 2013 and earlier this year, 2014, another friend of mine applied here and she told me the process is just the same.

If you have any questions, suggestions, or stories you want to share, please leave a comment here. I'd love to hear from you and respond to you as soon as possible. You may also follow me on twitter, I follow back :)

So there you go! Hope this helps.

To God, to God, to God be the glory. :)

Setting Up an Appointment Online (Philippine Passport Application)

Hello, there. For my first post, I wanted to blog something that's gonna be useful for everyone.

Getting a Philippine Passport.

Well, this is not really new but I just want to share how easy this thing could be done.

The first time I tried to apply for a passport, I was worried about the documents I should present, hat the valid IDs, and so on. I asked people I knew and for some reasons, they all sounded as if it was the hardest thing to get.

Nah, really.

It was even easier than enrolling in Bulacan State University--- seriously.

So, how to really get a Philippine Passport for the first time?

First thing to consider is the place where you live when choosing the nearest branch to apply for Passport. Here are the list of DFA branches and you may pick one as the most convenient place for you to apply. Second, just click the branch you'd like to set an appointment to and you'd be directed to the page and find "Start Individual Appointment Process" at the very bottom page on the left side.

Now, all you have to do is fill out that page.

The following guide is for the people who are applying for Philippine Passport for the first time.

Here is what you will see.

Please select "New". Then just kindly fill it out.



For the Purpose of Travel, you may select any of the following. Some of my friends who planned to go abroad to look for work choose "Others" then type "Personal".

Now, if you don't have an Occupation, just put "Housewife" (for married women), Self-Employed or NONE. That's okay too. Don't worry, it's not big deal. For those people who don't have a job, just put seven 9s on the "Office Number" field just like this:



Next is Contact Information box. What is very important here is that you need to make sure the email you will put there is a valid email address and is very accessible. DO NOT LEAVE ANY BLANKS otherwise it won't proceed to the next page.

For the Processing Type, it may be "Regular" or "Rush".

Remember for additional fee of 120 PHP (Pesos) on top of 1,200 PHP (Pesos) in case you want to have it delivered to your house, which is more practical and convenient as for my two cents. Make sure to review everything before hitting "Submit" button. If you think everything is correct, just press "Submit." And voila! You have just set an appointment for Philippine Passport Application.

Important Note: The appointment will be sent to the email you have provided. Be sure to print it out because you must show it to DFA upon processing your passport.

If you have any questions, suggestions, or stories you want to share, please leave a comment here. I'd love to hear from you and respond to you as soon as possible. You may also follow me on twitter, I follow back :)

So there you go! Hope this helps.

To God, to God, to God be the glory. :)