A Prayer for Tasmin Jahan Tisha

I have a friend who lives in Bangladesh who was my former trainee. It's been three years since Mustafijor (that's his name) and I last worked together but he never forget to say hi or greet me whenever he sees me online on Skype. Although we never really had the chance to have a long talk because of time difference, this guy has always been close to my heart. He's very humble and hardworking man. His weird and cute English never failed to make me smile.

Today, I woke up at 1:00 AM, Manila time and thought of writing a few chapters of my book when a colleague from India messaged me on Skype. I used to work with this guy and Mustafijor. Haven't been skyping for a long time and maybe because it's the same time of day when the three of us used to work before, I found them both online. So this colleague of mine told me about the new project he would be handling and asked me if eventually I could make a team for him. It was a good project and definitely something to consider about.

After we talked, I saw three messages from Mustafijor. He was asking about how I was and the places I had been to and I said it was good. I'm good. Travelling was good but nothing could be better than being with my daughter and husband. I told him I'm with my family now and that life is good. I even told him about the new baby that's coming three months from now. He wished me "the best of luck and prosper in life". That made me smile again. Although he was not very good at speaking English, he always says something nice. 


I told him I always see him as my brother since I don't have one. He told me he doesn't have a sister, anyhow, he's happy to have found a sister in me.

Then I asked him how his life was. He told me he was working for a child. At first, I didn't get it so I asked if this is his own child. I knew he isn't married  (three years ago). He told me he's still single and what he's doing now is not actually a job but rather a charity work for someone, a girl who is ill. He said he has been collecting money for the girl's operation who lost her two kidneys. 

What surprised me was the fact that this girl is not even his relative. She's a sister of his college friend. He said he's working on a banner right now to post on his facebook to collect more money for the girl's operation.

I suddenly felt the need to donate or something. I knew there was something I needed to do. I suddenly wanted to check the rates for western union.  But then, one side of me was stopping me from doing so because of the charge and the hassle of sending money abroad. Besides, what if he's just making this up?

Somehow, my heart was telling me that this guy was not lying. I could feel his sincerity. I was not sure if it was out of guilt or what not, but I promised him immediately that once my current project becomes a hit, I would not forget him. 


His unexpected reply to me, however, broke my heart. He said in his not so good English with all sincerity: "JUST PRAY FOR THE LITTLE GIRL WHO'S JUST 8 AND ABOUT TO DIE"

He didn't ask for money or donation. He just said "JUST PRAY."

JUST PRAY FOR THE LITTLE GIRL.

I felt like I was hit in the face with a hard brick and I could tell maybe that's even better than to be embarrassed like this. This guy, who's not Christian was not asking anything from me but a PRAYER. I was so ashamed of myself.   I realized that this guy might be poor, worldly speaking, but so rich in faith. Then here I am, a self-proclaimed Christian who thought that this guy might just wanting money from me.

I pity myself. I've never felt so poor and unworthy. So I immediately asked for the name of the little girl and right at that moment, I prayed humbly. I prayed to the Great Healer, to God, to the God that makes things happen to heal the girl according to his will. That Tasmin Jahan Tisha may be free from pain and illness. That she may feel comfort and that she may be well.

After the prayer, he said "THANK YOU" but the truth is I should be thanking him. He had no idea what he did to me. Maybe it's about time to look back and assess my spiritual life and relationship to God again. It's about time to renew my faith and have a change of heart, for the better.

If you're reading this right now, please don't forget to pray for the little girl Tasmin Jahan Tisha. Please pray that God will provide her financially and strength, so that her operation may become successful and that she may fully recover from her illness.

Here are the lessons I learned today that I want you to reflect on too. 

1. A change of heart for the better. I want you to ask yourself if there's a need for you to have a change of heart? Are you being too judgmental or righteous to listen and understand? May this bible verse remind us to always have a heart like Jesus.

Matthew 7:2 "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

2. No amount of help can be too small. We frequently doubt ourselves if we are capable of helping. Sometimes, we even doubt people in need if they are even deserving to be given a hand. Things just don't simply happen by accidents. This person or that person asked you for some help because God led them to you. Let God use you. You may be challenged financially to help but you can always pray for the friends and family who are going through some rough time. Never underestimate the power of prayer with FAITH.

Mattew 17:20 He replied "Beacause you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible to you." 

3. Be humble AT ALL TIMES. If you want a less-stress-life then maybe it's about time you tried to live a simpler life. (See that I used less-stress instead of stress free for there's no such thing as that) How about a little reassessment in your lifestyle? How about a quick reality check? Do you feel you are better than this or that person just because you have a higher paying job or maybe more cash in your bank account? Maybe it makes us feel good about ourselves to think that some people are less than what we are (or at least seemed to be). I just prayed that you realized sooner or later how important it is to be humble before God humbles you deliberately. 

Matthew 23:12 But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Hope this inspires you. Thank you for reading. Keep the faith and be blessed! Good morning.





Yours,
boykape

Then A Narcissism Begins

Okay, how have you been everyone? It's been awhile. Tagal ko di nakapagblog. Just so you know I'm five months on the go (might give birth to my second this October) and Dudung (my daughter Margaux) has been clingy these days. Ganun siguro kapag magkakaroon na ng kapatid.

Anyways, whereabouts... well, I haven't tweeting in a while too. Right now I was just thinking of changing my pen name into something that sounds more like me. Definitely not Donna Mason. I want Mason to be my first name though... I want it to be Mason Duke. Asa pa ko!

So medyo matagal nga akong nawala sa pagsusulat. Aside from those nights na hindi ako masyadong inaantok. Well, I still manage to write--- mga once a month. Grabe. Ang kulang-kulang ko lately.

Anyways, marami na kong ipo-post now. So baka mga tatlong entry gawin ko.

Just stole this idea from a friend who posted trivia about her on FB but it was epic fail though because nobody cares! LOL. And then I thought about trivias about my life--- and surprisingly enough, there's only few that I can think of. 

So I'm doing this "20 trivias about myself challenge" to see how well I know myself. By the way, I copied these questions here and actually there were about 800 questions there but I just copied 20 and changed some of the questions (not really so much though). You can try this too and post it on your que! :-) So I'm doin' this with Katy Perry's The One that Got Away on my background. 

1) Whats your middle name? PIZARRO. MY LOLO'S (mom side) WERE ESPANOLS! 

2) How old are you? I'M... NOT HONEST.

3) Whats your Birthday? 05/05

4) What starsign does that make it? BULL... CRAP.

5) Whats your favourite colour? ORANGE. AND I HATE PURPLE. FOR SOME REASONS, IT'S ALWAYS ASSOCIATED WITH PINK AND I SON'T LIKE PINK THE MOST. DON'T ASK WHY I USE PURPLE ON THIS ONE. I'M JUST TOO LAZY TO CHANGE THE COLOR.

6) What are the names of your Children? FRANCE MARGAUX. MY SECOND WOULD BE EITHER OLGA GIORGIANA OR FRANCO MATEO? NOT SURE BOUT MATEO YET. 

7) Do you have any pets? NONE AT THE MOMENT. SERYOSO.

8) What's your significant other's endearment? CALL HIM BO. HE CALLS ME BABE. KNOW WHAT THEY SAY? BEING CALLED BABE IS JUST A GOOD FUCKIN' FEELING. FUCKIN' TRUE.

9) How tall are you? USUALLY DEPENDS ON HOW TALL IS THE PERSON ASKING. NAH. I'M A SHORT GIRL. 5'1" 

10) What shoe size are you? 6.5

11) How many pairs of shoes do you own? ENOUGH TO FILL A DECENT SIZE ROOM. BWAHAHAHAAA... MAINGGIT KA!

12) If you were prime minister/ruler of the world what laws would you make? A RULE THAT PUNISHES PEOPLE WHO CLAIM THEY ARE SWAG, PABEBE, JOLOGS, BASTA MGA GANYAN.

13) If you were a super hero what powers would you have? THE POWER OF TIME TRAVELLING. MORTALITY. THE POWER OF CREATING WHATEVER. AND THE LIST GOES ON. PROBABLY THE REASON I COULD NEVER BE A SUPERHERO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M TOO SELFISH.

14) and what would your hero name be? SUPER BOYKAPE

15) and what outfit would you wear? GEEZ, MAN. HEROES OUTFIT'S A GAYSHIT.

16) What was your last dream about? HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY DOCTOR'S HUSBAND. EWWW. NEXT PLEASE.

17) What would you do if you won the lottery? OH, MAN. THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS I WANNA DO BUT I BET I CAN SPEND IT ALL IN TWO HOURS. TRUST ME.

18) Would you like to build/design your own house? YEAH AND IT'S GONNA BE A MODERN MEDITERRANEAN MANSION.

19) Which form of public transport do you prefer? TRICYCLE. I LOVE TRICYCLES. I SELDOMLY RIDE ON JEEPNEYS. I JUST LOOK STUPID. IT'S SOMETHING I CAN NEVER GET USED TO.

20) What talents do you have? I'M SARCASTIC, DELUSIONAL, SELF-PROCLAIMED, ONE TOUGH SON OF A BITCH. ERRR... JUST IN CASE YOU CONSIDER THOSE "TALENTS".

Okay, can't believe I'm done. So, it's your turn. Spread goodness. Spread happiness! :-)

Pssst!

Dear Young Sir,

I know what you're feeling right now. You're disappointed and want to give up.

I know you're tired and sick. I know your dreams seem distant. I know your hopes

are all fading. I know you're not satisfied. 

Please don't give up!

Take a deep breath.

Pray.

Realize your dreams.

You're getting there everyday.

See all the little and big things that inspire you.

You can't stop now.

God didn't give you your talent just to give up. Keep this in mind. NO BELIEVER REMAINS AT THE BOTTOM. When you feel you're at your lowest point--- smile calmly. There's no way but up.

Held your head high and prepare. The best is yet to come.

Sincerely yours,

Sir 2.0

KEEP INTERESTED IN YOUR CAREER

Nobody will do it for you.

Donna Mason

So, there you go. After I sent my first manuscript, PHR  Precious Hearts Romance replied immediately to inform me they have received it already. Syempre, kinakabahan ako kasi hindi ko alam kung ma-approve ba. I even set an alarm to my phone after three weeks to update them but guess what? I received another email from them informing me it was approved.

Halos maiyak ako sa tuwa, promise. After that, nagpunta kami sa office to claim my first check and eventually signed a ten year contract with them. Nakapagsubmit rin ako ng acknowledgment, teaser and catchy line na hindi ko naman masyadong alam kung catchy nga ba.

They asked for at least three pen names I'd want to use and I came up with two: Primadonna and Mason D. Walang masyadong istorya do'n just so happened I've been using Primadonna Talks sa mga dati kong blogs... gusto ko sana BOYKAPE or PAPA UNO. I even thought of using Cathalina, pangalan kasi yun ng lola ko. By the way, Mason used to be my phone name when I was workin' at BPO kaya yun.


So, naexcite ako kung ano bang pen name ang maa-approve. I heard na may feng shui rin kasi yun. 

After a month or so, my editor message me. Binigay nya yung pen name ko--- "DONNA MASON"

Nasaktan ako nung una. Charot. Kase naman I was expecting Mason D. Kaso yun nga, so I thought of talking to the big boss and request to change it to Mason D. kung pwede. May issue kasi ko sa "DONNA" (hindi kay Donna Cruz or Donna Summer). 

But then, I talked to my bestfriend who's in States and he told me that Donna Mason actually sounds nice. He said it's such a strong name.

Tapos inulit ko mga 100  times.

DO-NA

DOH-NA

DA-NUH

DA-NUH MEI-SUN

DONNA MASON

Ayun, okay na ko. 

Answered Prayers

Verse of the day:

And all things ye shall in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Matthew 21:22

Application:

In some NIV (New International Version), it says "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

This is just amazing. I was marveled and blown away. Jesus gave us a clear and easy steps in getting what we ask for. The first thing is to ask in praying, believe that God will provide it and then lastly, receive it.

Asking through prayer is easy--- claiming and believing was actually the hard part. If you ask for something, you should be confident that God can do it. I know it's easier said than done. 

When I was young, God never failed me. Even the most selfish and petty prayers were answered. I wondered what happened as I grow up.

In Matthew 19: 14, Jesus said "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

That's when I realized what happened to me. As a child, I didn't really care so much if this or that was impossible. All I did was ask them at night in prayers, and trusted that God would give it to me, regardless how impossible it might be. As a young girl, I believed that God was too big and powerful, overflowing with goodness that nothing could ever be impossible when I asked. I believed that God loved me enough, that He had a big widescreen tv and was watching over me. When I wanted something, I just asked for it.

I never worried that it was impossible. I was confident that there's nothing my good Lord could not do for me.

But as I grow up, I realized that life wasn't easy. I realized I have to work hard for something if I want it. I still pray. But it never made me less worried. Then it suddenly hit to me why my sincerest prayers seemed to not work anymore. Here are some tips you might find helpful:

1. Pray like a child. When you want something, ask for it. You don't have to justify or defend why you want it. What I used to do was pray and tell God all my good intentions. But God sees my heart. God knows my intention. He sees my real motives. So next time you want something, just ask for it. You don't have to sugar coat it. Just ask God through prayers and believe He'll do it for you.

2. Do not bargain. I am guilty of this because I often tell God that if He'd answer my prayer, I would be a better person or I'd promise to do this and that in return. God doesn't need my promise. God doesn't ask anything in return. God doesn't need anything from me aside from one thing--- FAITH.

3. Leave up all your worries. When I was a child, when I was afraid of something, I will pray. And right after I prayed, I instantly felt good because I knew He'd answer it. I would feel good because I trust in Him. I became confident after every prayer because I knew that God would give it to me. Leave up to Him all your worries. Trust that God will do it because He loves you.

4. Be specific. "Lord, I leave up to you everything." this is the common prayer I often hear. There's nothing wrong with it. But if you want for something, you have to be specific. Tell God what it is that you want. You are having a quality time with God when you pray. You are having your most intimate moment with Him. Don't waste it by being too hesitant. Tell exactly what you want and ask for it.

5. The Joy of Receiving. Act like you already receive it after praying. Be joyful. Forget all the worries and trouble. When you pray, you don't only ask for something. You leave up to God all the negative feelings you are feeling. It could be stress, worries or fear. Be confident that God will take care of it. Go on with your life and be as joyful as possible. 

So that's about it for now. Keep the faith and be blessed!

Boykape

In My Comfort Zone

So, ang tagal ko nang hindi nagpo-post. Nakakapagod rin minsan magkwento ng hindi totoo. Nakaka-burn out promise. Ginagawa ko na ngayon ang third sequel ko kaya nakikipaghabulan taya na naman ako sa writer's block.

Last night, kachat ko yung editor ko. Ayun, kinukulit ko na naman sa omniscient subjective POV, wala ng katapusan ulit-ulit na lang yung tanong ko sa kanya! Grabe, nakakaasar na ko. Kung ako sa editor ko, hindi ko papansinin ang mga tanong nang isang makulit, aligaga at baguhang writer.

Honestly, I thought omniscient was my comfort zone. Dati kasi sulat lang ako ng sulat until I learned about the rules.

Ayun. Nagulo ang buhay ko.

Since wala na kong facebook, ang gamit ko pangchat eh yung FB ni Baba Bo. Well, dahil mga isang oras bago sya magreply, pinilit kong magsulat ulit.

Sayang. Kukulitin ko pa naman sana kung kailan iri-release ang libro ko.

Tapos napunta ko sa isang blogsite, reviewhavens.blogspot.com na nagre-review sa mga PHR/MSV pocketbooks. Ayun. Magagaling silang tao. Mahahalata mo talaga na mga batikang editor sila. May mga "K" maging critic. Kung gusto mo ng isang makatotohanang review, sa kanila ka magrequest.

Tapos ihanda mo ang sarili mo. Kumalma ka. They don't sugar coat. Saktong-sakto. Totoo lang talaga.

Kaya nabuo na ang desisyon ko. Hindi ko na kukulitin ang editor ko kung kailan ba lalabas ang book ko. Hehehe... 

Anyways, inabot ako ng 5AM kababasa lang ng mga review nila. Nakalimutan ko day off nga pala si Teteh (yaya ni Margaux) the next day. Kawawa si Baba Bo.

Hapon na the next day eh wala parin akong silbi. Para kong zombie, ayaw magfunction talaga.

Tapos nagpunta ko ng Wattpad, binasa ko yung Miusings and Umprintables ni "the legend" lola C a.k.a Camilla! Haaaayyy.. nainspire tuloy akong magdiary na parang ganto.

Lunch time. Si Baba Bo ang nagluto. Yung corn na may flower ng kalabasa tapos may pork? Hindi ko gusto yung corn, may issue ako sa mais, oh please! Pero gusto ko yung ulam na yun kasi magaling magluto si Tita Lyn (mame ko).

So excited much ako nung lunch. Nung tinikman ko, anak ng!

Parang lasang bicol express, kulang na lang eh gata!

Ayun. Nilagyan pala ng imbentor ng luya!

Hindi na ko nakakain ng maayos. 

"Bakit may luya?" tanong ko na para bang gumawa sya ng isang kahindik-hindik na krimen.

Suam na mais, tapos may luya? Asan naman ang hustisya do'n?

"Nilalagyan ba yan ng luya?" para parin niyang nalabag ang human rights by the way I sounded.

Na-offend ako!

Pinaasa ko.

"Natikman mo na si mame magluto nito?" para na syang kinder na nahuling nangopya ng teacher. 

"Oo." sagot nya, hindi nya ko tinitingnan.

"Ang sarap ng luto ni mame nito, eh!" may bigat do'n sa bagsak ko ng bawat salita.

Buti na lang, napupupu na si Margaux, so tumayo na ko. Tinulungan ko syang umire.

"1, 2, 3,

Puuuuush!"

Hindi rin lumabas pupu nya kahit ano pang emote ko.

Naisip ko na lang na okay na rin ang suam na may luya na yan sa diet ko. 

5pm nung dumating si Teteh, pinagtutulakan ko syang kumain na. Parang nasense nya na may masama akong balak, busog pa daw sya.

Muntik na kong tumambling nung kinuwento nya sa akin yung jeep adventure nya for the day. From San Jose Del Monte, sa Malolos pa sya pumunta kaya long drive talaga. Sa mga mahahabang express na jeepney sya sumasakay.

Maganda daw yung jeep na nasakyan nya. Makabida naman ang luka-luka!

May tv daw kasi, tapos horror ang palabas.

"Annabelle?" bigla ako naexcite. Gusto ko kasi yun panoorin kasi maganda daw sabi ni Plainvanillagirl sa Wattpad. Napanood namin ni Bo yung The Conjuring 1 and 2.

"Hindi. Ano ba yung Annabelle?" clueless sya. "Yun ba yung patatas?"

Natigilan ako. Naweirduhan ako kay Teteh. Ano naman kayang patatas yung sinasabi nito?

"Anong patatas?" nahihiwagaang tanong ko sa kanya. "Movie yung Annabelle. English movie."

"Ewan ko ba, uso kasi yun sa facebook ngayon, eh. Si Annabelle ba yung patatas?" konti na lang ta-tumbling na ko dito. 

"Expression lang yung patatas. Parang dati, patola naman. Sa susunod baka talong na." hindi ko alam kung bakit ine-explain ko sa kanya na parang big deal ang bagay na ito.

'Sa susunod, sana papaya naman. Para mauso ka!' gusto ko pa sana sabihin kaso iniwan na nya ko sa terrace. Si Teteh kasi eh gifted na bata. Nakakalunod.

Lakas tuloy makaselos.

"Babe, okay ba sa'yo yung fish fillet ko?" si Bo. Katatapos lang namin kainin yung uwi ni Teteh. Ganito talaga yung batang 'toh, laging may uwi sa amin kapag naglalakwatsa.

"Okay yung fish fillet mo." sabi ko.

Parang hindi naman sya satisfied sa comment ko.

Challenge ito sa akin. Feel na feel ko ang pagiging writer kaya ginamitan ko sya ng pamatay na description sa fish fillet nya. parang nobela lang.

"Parang ganito..." eto na naman ako, pakiramdam ko ang galing ko, eh. 


"Kapag may dumalaw sa atin na mahalaga sa akin, fish fillet ang ipapaluto ko sa'yo. Kapag may dumalaw sa akin na hindi ko masyadong gusto pero gusto ko magpa-impress, fish fillet parin ang ipapaluto ko sa'yo. Pero kapag ang dumalaw sa akin ay bisitang ayaw na ayaw ko," binitin ko talaga. Wala, eh... Writer, eh. "Yung niluto mo ngayon ang ihahain ko sa kanila para wag na silang bumalik kahit kailan!"

Yun. Walk out sya.

Nagtaka ko. May mali ba sa sinabi ko? Puring-puri nga ang fish fillet, eh!

"Bo..." habol naman ako. I have to admit, suam na mais lang ang hindi masarap kay Baba Bo. 


"Uy, Bo!" Kailangan ko pa ang katawan nya para mainspire ako sa bed scene ni Dave at Charlie (character ng sinusulat ko ngayon).

"Bo... sorry naman na!" habol kawawa parin ako.

Inisnab nya ko sabay sabi, "Uwi ka sa Malolos, paluto ka sa mommy mo."